Chocolate Cheerios?

They sell Chocolate Cheerios now.  That can’t be right, can it?  I mean don’t get me wrong, I’m no crazy purist or anything, and I love a good dose of cocoa as much as the next guy, but for crying out loud, what’s next, Strawberry Pringles?

I know I should be rejoicing, and when I impulsively snagged a box on Sunday (from the dang end-aisle display of course), I was very happy that my favorite method of reducing my cholesterol was now in a new and more inviting flavor.  But even after partaking of these tasty morsels, I’m still conflicted.  I mean, aren’t Cheerios supposed to be healthy, cholesterol-lowering, tasteless little turnips?  Shouldn’t I be dolefully trudging my way through a bowl of mindless crunch-nuggets while I improve my health and maintain my less-than-appealing physique?  And here’s another thing, they don’t have any more carbs than the regular Cheerios!  How the hell can they make something that tastes like Cocoa Puffs but is actually on the list of “good” foods for a diabetic?  Now I admit I was also totally stumped about the whole teflon thing (couldn’t figure out how something so incredibly non-stick stayed stuck the pan) but I’ve grown now, I’ve matured, and I’ve come to understand that some things in life are not meant to be understood.  So for now I’m disregarding my queasiness with the absurdity of eating a heaping bowl of chocolaty goodness and accepting that Karma has come full circle and all the bad things I’ve done in life have been forgiven.  Thank you General Mills, you fancy bastards, I love your new cereal!

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